Duck, Duck, Goose
by thir13enth
Summary: In which Erza and Jellal deal with each other's and their own lookalikes. Mostly humor. Mostly AUs. Jerza and Mystwalker, technically.
1. Last Name First

**I don't really have a good explanation for why I decided to do this, but I thought it would be fun to try to write a bunch of AUs satirizing the abundance of Jellals in the Fairy Tail series and mix that with my love for Jerza and Mystwalker. The story is M. And that's for multiple reasons. That's all I'll say, haha.**

 **To note, none of these drabbles (or the characters for that matter) are necessarily related to each other. But I'll let you know clearly if they can in the same universe. Hopefully there's no confusion between any twins or triplets—unless I want you to be confused. Eh, we'll see where this goes.**

 **Anyway, I'm debuting this project with something for Mystwalker Week 2k15, prompt: jealousy.**

* * *

 **Last Name First**

* * *

"Erza Scarlet, _what's good?_ "

Said girl of practically the same face and hair looked up at her same-named confrontation.

"Knightwalker," the other Erza replied, calmly, slowly standing up from her seat at the lunch table surrounded by her friends. The scarlet-haired junior lifted her left leg to free herself from the cafeteria-style table and stepped out into the open, facing her lookalike with an identical glare.

"Tsch," Knightwalker hissed. She looked the other woman up and down—unfazed by just how similar the two of them looked, especially given the high school uniforms they were required to wear on a day-to-day basis—before eyeing Scarlet's waist length hair.

Knightwalker used to have waist-length hair too. But she cut if off in sophomore year, sick and tired of being mistaken for this unrelated counterpart of hers.

But she would never admit out loud that the reason why she hacked her hair short was because of that. In fact, she hated that _Scarlet_ had even _caused_ her to do something. She hated being affected by— _she_ was the one that created effect.

She even took up competitive swimming to justify the shorter length of her hair, explaining that the swim cap was easier to put on—and that she wouldn't be dragged by any unnecessary extra weight.

"What do you want now, Knightwalker?"

The other Erza stepped towards her, solid and confident footsteps. Erza wouldn't budge—she'd make the other Erza come to _her—_ and she wouldn't back away either—she'd wait for the other Erza to figure out who was the better scarlet-haired Erza out of the two of them.

The cafeteria noise had begun to settle down as more and more students noticed the two twins-not-twins standing in front of each other, crossed arms, furrowed eyebrows, chin pointed upwards.

The competition between Erza Scarlet and Erza Knightwalker was well known phenomena in not just the high school, but also the neighborhood, an unfortunate chancing of two redhead same-aged women within the same school district whose mothers had both chosen the most popular name of 1998 for the first name of their firstborn daughters.

A fight was about to start—the other students could feel the tense atmosphere about to snap—but before they started chanting for whatever side they were rooting on, they all needed to know exactly what the two of them were going to be brawling about _this_ time.

Knightwalker noticed the other high schoolers pulling out their phones—likely about to Snapchat or live Tweet the showdown that they predicted was going to happen between the Erzas.

She could just _feel_ the internet buzzing wildly in the air and if she listened hard enough, she could make out the vibrations of the other students' phone notifications.

 _" **celestialfilia** think it'll be another pun battle? – **wordsmith** "_

 _"damn, **graynopants ironstomach** y'all need to get to the cafeteria NOW! – **firedupslayer** "_

 _"and on this episode of Erza vs. Erza… - **drinksoncana** "_

Normally Knightwalker wouldn't care—she actually rather liked the fact that the Erza vs. Erza Facebook page was so popular within their circle of friends—but this fight was a little… _personal_.

"Let's take this outside, Scarlet," Knightwalker said, tilting her head and walking forward, passing by her counterpart without another word.

Her twin-not-twin took the hint and followed her outside and around the corner of the schoolyard.

Once they were out of hearing range from other students, Knightwalker swiveled around on her heel to confront the other Erza once again.

"You're dating him, too, aren't you?" she suddenly accused.

"Excuse me?" Scarlet retorted. Knightwalker lifted her lip in disgust as she watched Scarlet slowly reach up to tuck away her dark red-framed glasses.

Knightwalker had never been so glad to be wearing contacts.

" _Jellal Fernandes_ ," Knightwalker said, stressing every single syllable. "You're dating him, aren't you?"

"What of it?" the other Erza snarled, placing her eyewear case into her pocket. "You _jealous_?"

"Psssh, no," she replied. "Why would I be jealous when I know I've been dating him for at least three months longer than you?"

The other woman looked at her with marked disbelief and suspicion. "You? Dating that sweet boy?"

Knightwalker smirked. "Oh, I'll have you know that he isn't _that_ sweet."

"Don't fuck around with me, Knightwalker. It's not going to work," Scarlet cursed at her. "We can fight about all the trivial shit that you want to fight about between us—but you will _not_ bring Jellal into this."

"Then you shouldn't have pushed yourself into my relationship."

" _Your_ relationship?" her counterpart retaliated. "What—is he property now? Did you already piss on him and make him yours or something?"

Knightwalker's eyebrow arched high. "Maybe I have," she purred, winking. "But you wouldn't know."

The revulsive smile that suddenly landed on Scarlet's face highly amused Knightwalker. Nevertheless, she turned the conversation back around.

"Well maybe your problem is that you need to discuss the open-ended description of your relationship," Scarlet replied, smooth and mature. "Because honestly it just sounds like _you're_ the one that's having a miscommunication."

And the other Erza turned on her heel, heading back to her lunch.

"Mmm—no, no, no," Knightwalker corrected, grabbing hold of her twin-not-twin's forearm tightly and spinning the woman back around to face her. "I believe that _you're_ the one that's not interpreting this conversation correctly." She snarled at Scarlet, slightly baring teeth. "I brought you out here so that we can settle this. _Now_."

At first, Scarlet remained composed but after seeing Knightwalker's challenge written all over a face that mirrored hers, the other Erza slowly broke her peaceful resolve and let out her years-long of agitation building up against her counterpart.

"Yeah," Scarlet agreed, taking back her wrist from Knightwalker's grip. "Let's get this over with."

"There can only be one of us!"

 **across the other side of the school**

Jellal's phone vibrated.

Waking up from his short lunch break nap, he lifted his head slightly and flipped it over onto the table and read it off the screen.

 **Meredy:** _"your gfs about to break some neck! get your ass over there!"_

"Damn," the blue-haired high school student cursed to himself, picking up his cellphone and replying immediately.

As a newly transferred student, he had only started hearing about the fights that Erza got into with her supposedly lookalike. But he hadn't realized just how _often_ these quarrels were.

He texted Meredy back. _"she's not my gf. we're just dating."_

The ultramarine looked pensively out the window. The first time Erza had gotten into a fight with her counterpart, he had immediately rushed to the scene to make sure that she was okay, but once he actually arrived, he quickly realized that Erza in no way needed his help, and in fact, he would probably be the one that would be needing hers when the time came.

Erza was…a _demon_.

His phone vibrated again.

 **Meredy:** _"srsly, this is serious shit. you have to take care of this."_

Jellal mused for a little bit. His pink-haired sister often got a little _too_ excited when these Erza vs. Erza fights happened. Meredy had rapidly adopted their new high school's culture, and he couldn't blame her—that was why she was so much better at adapting whenever they moved to new places.

Although Meredy didn't have an identical twin.

He blinked slowly, trying to talk himself out of falling asleep, but his face slowly rolled back down to his desk as he nodded off, confident Erza would make it out of the fight just fine.

The door to the classroom flew open.

"Jellal!" a voice exclaimed.

Said blue-haired high school student opened one eye and looked at who was at the door, instantly getting a little aggravated.

"Bro—you know I didn't sleep until 4 in the morning today trying to finish up that stupid Tower of Heaven project," Jellal snarled at his twin brother. "What the fuck do you want?"

"Nah, this is _serious._ Get the fuck up!" Mystogan warned, coming up to Jellal and shaking him awake.

"Okay, shit! _Shit!_ I'm up. I'm up!" and Jellal got to his feet, pulling back the hair from his face.

"Erza started picking a fight with Erza," his twin quickly reported to him.

"Yeah, Meredy texted me. That shit always happens."

"Yeah but—they're fighting over _us_ this time."

"What—"

But then all the pieces of the puzzle started came together.

"Fuck, they're getting us confused, aren't they?"

"It's not their fault that _both_ our names are Jellal Fernandes, you know?" Mystogan reminded his twin brother. "And it's not like I tell Erza to call me Mystogan—that's like a family nickname."

"Yeah, blame your crackpot head of a father for betting the names of his firstborn sons with his drunk as fuck friend and _actually_ going through it," Jellal sighed, exasperated, and starting out the classroom door toward the schoolyard.

Mystogan rolled his eyes, following after his twin. "You know, he's _your_ father too."

* * *

 **Lol okay, I don't know what just happened. Lol wtf. Anyway, let me know what you think!**

 **thir13enth**


	2. Mixed Drinks

**Thank you for all the support! I'm glad that there's some people that actually appreciate me going down this twins and triplets rabbit hole, haha!**

 **This is written for a tumblr prompt below from AUideas. This will be short and sweet. And holiday themed. Yay.**

 ** _For Character A, the Holidays have always been a time for relaxation and inner contemplation for the new year to come, whereas Character B tends to put all of their inhibitions aside and have the best time they possibly can. While these two personalities seem to be made for one another, both characters face some issues on December 24th when Character B tries to get a rise out of Character A and make them truly express whatever they are hiding behind their stoic face._**

* * *

 **Mixed Drinks**

* * *

As much as he didn't like socializing, he admittedly had actually been looking forward to winter festivity reunions after a rough first semester in college, ready to see old friends and neighbors.

Except some.

"Hey!" she exclaimed.

He looked up from his cup of tea, eyes widening as he saw an all-too-familiar redhead come flying at him from across the room, amber open bottle of beer in one hand and a pair of jingle bells in the other. She landed next to him, jumping over the sofa armrest and plopping onto the remainder of the cushions.

Sober, Erza was scary. Drunk, she was terrifying.

But at least it seemed like she was only a little tipsy. For now.

"What are you _doing_ all _alone_?" she whined, sitting up and giving him a pout, waving the bells in his face. "Every single year everyone's getting all festive and _you're_ just sitting here thinking to yourself and not talking to anyone."

Her flushed cheeks matched the red showy Santa suit she was wearing and he did his best to move his eyes from the edges of her costume to the edge of his tea cup.

"I like spending the holidays quietly," he reminded her. "What's so bad about that?"

"Then why would you come out to the party if you're not going to _party_? Loosen up and have a little fun!" she yelled into his ear, as he cringed at the volume. She was probably trying to whisper over the festive music playing in the background but the alcohol in her system was likely offsetting her voice adjustments.

He wrinkled his nose at the stench of her breath. "I'm perfectly happy just sitting here watching people merrymake. I don't need to get all involved in it."

"But that's the _whole point_ of the holidays!" she groaned, her hand on his right shoulder, shaking his torso back and forth. She paused to take a long gulp of beer before placing the bottle under his nose, clinking aside his tea. "Have some!" she demanded.

Pushing aside her bottle, he gently folded her hand back into her personal space. "No thanks," he refused, taking another declarative sip of tea.

"Why are you like this?" she complained, frowning and shaking the jingle bells in her left hand once half-heartedly. She gave up on him and turned around, sitting herself down on the sofa properly, swinging her red-and-white socked feet over the wood floor. "You're so weird."

He turned to face her, uncrossing and recrossing his legs. "I just like to take the end of the year to reflect and think about what happened—what's so weird about that?"

"Whatever," she said, swirling her almost empty bottle around. She looked intently at the fireplace in front of them, her eyebrows furrowed.

He observed her for a minute before turning his eyes back out the window.

"Well I've been doing some of my own contemplating too," she suddenly told him, a serious expression on her face. "And I'm going to give you my answer."

"About what?"

"I've determined that I want to date you, Jellal."

He suddenly coughed, sputtering back into his cup.

"Erza, I don't think—"

"And yes, this _is_ about that kiss we had on Thanksgiving after the sweet potato pie."

"Erza, I really can't talk about this—"

She closed her eyes, ignoring him. "I know you don't want to talk about this but I think this is important. I'm sorry," she apologized steadfastly, before rambling on. "I know I lied that I only kissed you because there weren't any napkins around and you had this smudge of marshmallow fluff on your lip, and I was definitely drunk and I know you weren't expecting it, but I actually really meant the kiss."

He blinked, but maintained eye contact with her, even as he placed his ceramic tea cup down on the side table to the left of him.

"Um…" he started, slowly and carefully. "Why don't you talk to—"

"My friends?" she snapped, completing his sentence. "I already have but honestly I need to talk to _you._ Why can't _we_ talk about this?"

He inhaled to reply but before he could even part his lips, she took the lead again.

"Listen," she interrupted. "You've been avoiding me since then, and I know you don't like to talk about things, but I think this is really important for us to figure out. We've been friends since grade school and I don't want to—"

"Erza, I really can't—"

" _Listen,_ Jellal," she cut him off again. She exhaled once before explaining. "I know I freaked you out when I kissed you without any warning and then asked you out of nowhere. And I know that you probably don't want to ruin the friendship that we have but—I'm going to be real—I felt like we had a thing going and you were giving me mixed messages so I just went for it. I'm sorry if it made you really confused but I like you a lot and I want to try this out and I want to know your answer."

She took a quick breath in and out, almost like she was relieved to have gotten it off her chest.

He discreetly chewed on his bottom lip, thinking carefully.

"Well?" she asked him, her eyes back on him.

He turned his head and looked at her, eyes locking on her. "You're really tipsy," he finally said.

She waited a moment to see if he would add anything more. But when she realized that he had left her with a tense minute of silence, her eyes narrowed and her lips curled downwards. She swallowed hard.

"That's…that's all you have to say to me?"

He looked off to the side before admitting:

"…and um…I think you've mixed me up with my twin again. I'm not Jellal. I'm Mystogan."

* * *

 **Teehee. Can I ask for some thoughts from you as gifts under my virtual tree? Would love to hear from you!**

 **thir13enth**


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